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Post by timothyu on Mar 21, 2018 19:21:06 GMT -5
I grew up with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen before they had a name for it. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.
But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.
Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it..... it's best we love it.... And care for it.. And fix it when it's broken......... And heal it when it's sick.
This is true. For marriage....... And old cars..... And children with bad report cards.... And dogs with bad hips.... And aging parents...... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special........ And so, we keep them close!
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Post by timothyu on Mar 22, 2018 15:57:11 GMT -5
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
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Post by timothyu on Mar 23, 2018 17:00:54 GMT -5
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending a party. This did NOT promise to be a good morning for Jack. He had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose. Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
He takes the aspirins and cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you darling! Love, Jillian."
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well," said the son, thoughtfully, "you came home after 3 in the morning drunk. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "I don't know. I remember mom dragging you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off to put you to sleep, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"
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sissurf
All Star Member
Ah.. to be so in love!
Posts: 11,595
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Post by sissurf on Mar 27, 2018 17:38:25 GMT -5
Thank God for your humor Tim! It makes for some mighty good medicine!
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Post by timothyu on Mar 27, 2018 17:56:37 GMT -5
How can we take seriously anything about ourselves or anything we create? We deserve ridicule. It is such a backwards mess compared to the Kingdom and to God's will.
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sissurf
All Star Member
Ah.. to be so in love!
Posts: 11,595
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Post by sissurf on Mar 27, 2018 18:14:42 GMT -5
Ahh BGJam has your number Tim! ~ giggles
They should make an emoji that shakes, rattles, and giggles.
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sissurf
All Star Member
Ah.. to be so in love!
Posts: 11,595
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Post by sissurf on Mar 28, 2018 10:36:42 GMT -5
♥ Baby Blue? Dang can only make one heart!
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Post by timothyu on Mar 29, 2018 18:47:07 GMT -5
Using Common Sense with Images link
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Post by timothyu on Mar 30, 2018 11:20:00 GMT -5
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Post by timothyu on Mar 30, 2018 15:43:39 GMT -5
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Post by timothyu on Apr 1, 2018 4:14:37 GMT -5
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Post by timothyu on Apr 1, 2018 19:03:19 GMT -5
60+ were HOME SCHOOLED
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me"
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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Post by timothyu on Apr 4, 2018 20:49:13 GMT -5
"The trouble is, you think you have time." ...Buddha
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Post by timothyu on Apr 5, 2018 14:47:55 GMT -5
End of Days fanatics are already pointing to Zechariah or Matthew 24: 21
The Great Horn of Africa breaking away to eventual split the continent. link
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sissurf
All Star Member
Ah.. to be so in love!
Posts: 11,595
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Post by sissurf on Apr 5, 2018 23:03:18 GMT -5
After everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for those who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter.”
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man. God said to the long line, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose. Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.” God turned to the one man, “How did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
The man replied, “My wife told me to stand here.”
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